Angels on our way

Sometimes when the going gets tough you need angels on your way to help you through the bad patch.

My angels are my friends and my family, I can't do without them.

Today is a rough day, I have more pain then I had before, my anxiety levels are high and for the first time I needed some anxiety medication to stop the racing thoughts in my head.

I am still waiting for my MRI scan to reveal if the cancer is gone or still there or is spreading somewhere else and on some days I can't handle this very well any more.

I know craft blogs are mostly uplifting and no one wants to read the hard stuff, but it is for now the real stuff in my life.

My angel doll

Every fortnight a small group of creative friends meet together and we have a craft morning, last time I started making this angel doll with Elizabeth.
The doll patterns are designed by her and her friend over many years. I finished the angel doll just before our craft morning today and took it along to show the other women.
I was not in the mood for crafting much and I left a bit earlier.
I came home crying, life seems to hard now.
But my amazing husband was home to comfort me.

The grapevine angel

But I realize that the kindness of my friends this morning are the angels on my path today.

They recycled cans for me to use for my herb plants, made me a coffee, gave me a new pattern to make for another angel doll and gave me a hug and prayed for me.

Thank you God for the angels in my life, I need them so much.

Fighting the big black dragon called C

The big black dragon

Last year our family had a lovely walk on the beach in Marahau near Nelson.
Paul our son told us of his plans to get engaged with Emma and he wanted to do this in Golden Bay near were we live.
Emma loves Nelson and Golden Bay so he decided that would be the best place to ask her.
We were overjoyed and so happy for them both.
So Rachel and I cried a bit of joy.
We walked over the beach and on our way back we found this piece of driftwood and we all tried to guess what it looked like.
It was a dragon we decided, laughed and kept on walking,we forgot all about the piece of 'dragon' driftwood.

Now not even a year later I have to fight this big black dragon.
We all cried, not of joy, but of sadness and shock.
I am diagnosed with uterine cancer and because I can't have a hysterectomy because of an unknown bleeding tendency the treatment will be radiation and chemo therapy for the next 6 weeks.
I twice was admitted to Nelson hospital with heavy bleeding and flown to Christchurch by air ambulance.

I  nearly had my first week of treatment and it is still daunting for us all.
My family is so supportive and I can't do it without them.
We had help from Paul friends, lovely cards and  messages, lots of people praying for us.
My life suddenly goes in slow motion and the days are spend a lot of time around hospital appointments, sitting and watching 'healthy' people walking past and thinking 'that was me only two months ago, how could this have happened to me?'
Financial its a burden as well, I had to stop work and Henk is not working to be with me during treatment for the 6 weeks.
Our life is on hold.

But with help from my family and my friends and my faith I want to beat this big black dragon that 's luring at me and want to pull me under.

It won't happen. I don't know what the future will bring, I can only be in today.